Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?"

Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."

"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.

"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use the manual lever over there."

"What if that had been struck by lightning?"

"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."

"What if the phone was engaged?"

"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."

"What if that was vandalized?"

"Oh, well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle."

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

Billy Bob answered, "Because he's never seen a train crash."

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union house?" "No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the madame. "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked. "The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20." Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.

At the second one, he asked the madame, "Is this a union house?" "No, I'm sorry, it isn't," said the madame. "If I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he asked again. "The house gets $80 and the girl gets $20." Again offended, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.

His search continued until he finally reached a brothel where the madame said, "Why yes, this is a union house." "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" he questioned. "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20." "That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her for the night." "I'm sure you would, sir", said the madame while gesturing to a grotesque woman in her seventies in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."