================ This year I'm really gonna stick to it.. ..Got to get serious sometime, Right? ===============================

New Year's Resolution #1 Try to avoid transmission of inter-species diseases

New Year's Resolution #2 Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet (especially when they are less than 1000 feet above the ground)

New Year's Resolution #3 Stay off the Mir space station

New Year's Resolution #4 Don't eat cloned meat

New Year's Resolution #5 Try not to have seven children at once

New Year's Resolution #6 Avoid drunk limo drivers on anti-depressants

New Year's Resolution #7 Don't give real name when making campaign bribes

New Year's Resolution #8 Don't take a car all the way to Mars without remembering the spare battery.

New Year's Resolution #9 Don't get so drunk that you think cutting your penis off and blaming it on your girlfriend is a really neat idea.

New Year's Resolution #10 No more spaceship rides behind comets, even if the lemonade is free.