================================ Sounds like someone I know.... ================================

Monday, I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness the Walmart manager came and unplugged it.

================================ Some Anniversary..!..!.. ================================

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversery. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take that all that away. But,.. I must know, did he have a different father?"

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?"

Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.

Then, finally, she says "You".

================================ You Might Be In The Medical Field if: ================================

1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you

2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.

3. You find humor in other peoples stupidity.

4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac

5. Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint.

6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.

7. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

8. You believe Chocolate is a food group.

9. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,"Boy, it sure is quiet around here.

10. When you're out in public and you compliment a stranger on their great veins.

11. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the eternal care center.

12. You hate working nights with a full moon.

13. You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is appropriate for this patient.

14. You have wanted to give a seminar on "SUICIDE" Doing it right the first time.

15. You have had to leave a pt's room before you laugh uncontrollably.

16. You think coffee should be available in IV form.

17. You have ever restrained someone and it was NOT a sexual experience.

18. You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.

19. If you have ever referred to a Paramedic as a "Shit magnate".

20. You believe that the waiting room should have Valium Salt Licks.

21. You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the lab.

22. When ordering labs the Doctor wants to order a "dumb shit" lab.

23. When you mention vegetable you aren't talking about the food group.

24. You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks English.

25. You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you say, "No, I don't have to be worried about birth control... I've been irradiated."

26. Your patient states, "I have no idea how that got stuck up there."

27. You have your weekends all marked and planned for the year.

28. You encourage an obnoxious person to sign an AMA just so you don't have to deal with them anymore.

29. You use your status to get out of a speeding ticket.

30. You use the word GOMER in a sentence more than once a shift.

31. You have ever bet on someones blood alcohol level.

32. You threaten to use "the hose" if your patient won't give a urine sample.

33. After someone tells you how many drinks they've had, you ask... "How big were those drinks."

================================ Food for Thought ================================

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (an Indian elder) <This is NOT humor, because I like it, I am sending it!> ================================

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.