O stars if you're blond, 2 1/2 if you're not.

She was so blond: she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

she thought a quarterback was a refund

she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center (so, what is it?)

she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats

under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"

she tripped over a cordless phone

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"

she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind

she got stabbed in a shoot-out

she told someone to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK"

she sat on the tv and watched the couch

they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept (oh, god *that* one's got whiskers)

at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put "Sagittarius"

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store

it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes

if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless

she studied for a blood test - and failed

she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train

she sold the car for gas money

when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends

when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved

she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead

when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said " Airport Left" she turned around and went home >>