The Helpful Wife
A man and his wife were driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over.
The man pulls over, and the officer approaches the car.
Cop : "License and registration please."
Man : "I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?"
Cop : "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph."
Man : "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!"
Cop : "I'm also citing you for having a tail light out."
Man : "But officer, I wasn't aware it was out."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it's been out for two months."
Cop : "I'm also fining you for not wearing your seat belt."
Man : "But officer, I just took it off as you were approaching my car."
Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt."
Man : "Listen you dumb b#$%$, shut your f$#$%in' mouth!!!"
Cop : "Ma'am, does he always talk to you this way?
Wife: "Only when he's drunk......."