USEFUL DESCRIPTIONS OF PEOPLE THAT YOU MIGHT KNOW, OR WORK WITH, ETC.

1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

2. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

3. Has a room temperature I.Q.

4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy that holds it all together.

5. Is a gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

6. Has a photographic memory, but the lens cap is still on.

7. Is as bright as Alaska in December.

8. One celled organisms outscored him on I.Q. tests.

9. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

10. He fell out of the family tree.

11. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

12. Has two brains, one is lost and the other one is out looking for it.

13. He's so dense that light bends around him.

14. If brains were taxed, he'd get a refund.

15. If he were any stupider, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

16. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.

17. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

18. It's difficult to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.

19. One neuron short of a synapse.

20. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

21. It takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

22. He was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl too long as a baby.

23. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.